I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
