Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
