ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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