I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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