FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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