Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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