I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
