What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
