we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
