i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
