my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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