East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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