no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
