Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
