He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
