She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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