booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
