We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
