my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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