I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
