it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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