Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
