Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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