She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
