Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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