I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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