All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize