I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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