How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
