My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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