She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
