i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
