The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
