shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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