How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
