my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
