You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
