I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
