have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
