thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
