This is not my ceiling
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
