Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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