I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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