so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
