I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
