Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
