Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
