Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
