I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
