i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
