Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
